Monday, May 10, 2010

A little sign...

My grandpa died last week.

I was debating whether or not to tell you, dear readers, but I had a pretty amazing faith-building experience and I just can't keep it to myself. I never intended to share religious/ faith-related stuff here, mostly because I guess I don't really feel qualified at this point in my journey, but I just can't keep this one to myself.

My grandpa Fred was 92 years old and he lived a long, happy life. He was a wonderful man. He was one of the holiest people I've ever known. I've learned a tremendous amount from him and yet I wish I could have learned more. One thing he always tried to instill in me and my family was generosity. He always encouraged us to give with a happy heart. He was incredibly giving.




That's us at my grandparents' cabana in Long Island, NY circa 1985. My grandpa is on the right and me with my sister and brother and two of our cousins. Can you guess which one is me?

He also loved talking, thinking and reading about heaven. Even decades ago when he was perfectly healthy. There was not a doubt in his mind about what was waiting for him when the Lord called him home and especially now, there's not a doubt in my mind about where he is now. He was ready, excited to go.

When I was a kid, I saw my grandparents every few months. Every time we had to say goodbye, my grandpa would slip my siblings and I each a $5 bill. It was kind of funny that he was secretive about it because we all knew he was going to do it. I guess he knew my mom would try to tell him he didn't need to do it etc... When I was young $5 seemed like a fortune to me. Looking back I think he did that to encourage us to be generous. As a child, you don't always realize or remember when someone gives money to others, but it definitely makes an impression when someone gives money to you.

I was really blessed to be able to see my grandfather in the hospital before he died, but it's hard to say whether he knew I was there. He knew a ton of people and our family is pretty large, so there were 3 wakes over two days in order to accommodate everyone. The funeral and burial were on Friday followed by a meal at a nice Italian restaurant. He would have loved that part.

At some point during all of this (I think it was during the funeral, but those days are kind of blurred together in my mind) I prayed something to the effect of, "if it's really all there (heaven) like you always talked about, could you give me a little sign?"

My husband and I had to leave the luncheon a little early in order to pick up our girls whom we left with my husband's family in PA. As we were walking away from the restaurant I noticed something flapping on the ground out of the corner of my eye. I couldn't believe what I saw when I looked down.

It was a five dollar bill.

I can't tell you the assurance I felt when I picked it up. That little five dollar bill told me so much. Yes, it's really all here. Yes, your prayers are heard. Yes, you are cared for from above. Yes, there is a plan. Be hopeful. Be generous. Be happy.



I know plenty of people will think, so what? It's just money on the ground. Happens all the time. But for me it was just too much of a coincidence to simply be a happy accident. I haven't found a five dollar bill (or any other bill) on the ground since I was a kid. It wasn't a ten or a one dollar bill, it was a five. Because that is the amount that is significant to me. If it had happened a week earlier or several days later (or even an hour later) it wouldn't have had the same significance. It happened the moment I stepped away from the last of the funeral proceedings. It happened when I said goodbye.

I know with every fiber of my being that it was an answer to my prayer. The reassurance that I needed to continue living with the faith that we are in God's loving hands.

I love you, Grandpa.


Love,

27 comments:

  1. What a sweet post and very timely for me as well. My Grandfather (93) passed away last week as well. It's been an ordeal transporting him from CA back to his home in TN. The Funeral is in two days. He was a great Man of God and so true and loyal to his family and being a good man. He will be missed, but we will remember him in the little things...like $5 bills or for us, a good meal where we can say that was "Mighty Good." :)

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  2. Oh!! Tears in my eyes. That's just so so special and affirming!

    Okay, I don't remember if I mentioned this on my blog or not but my husbands father passed away last year. About a year before that my FIL lost his favorite baseball cap. We were visiting and we tore the house apart looking for it. Then that Christmas we again looked everywhere for the hat, he really wanted that cap!

    The day of his funeral my husband was saying he just wished his Dad could give him a sign that he was okay.

    We were using his Dad's van. I opened the door to put my son in his car seat and there was the hat. Just sitting there. Silly, but a big affirmation. There was no other way for the hat to be there other than God putting it there.

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  3. So cool to hear these affirmations! Thanks for sharing =)

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  4. Very Inspirational! We know God is always there for us and our love ones, but it's nice to receive a sign, especially during a time like this. Thanks for sharing.

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  5. Oh, Pam, this brought tears to my eyes! It sounds like your grandfather was a wonderful, wonderful man. :) I know you'll see him again one day. Isn't that reassuring? That's what I remind myself of. :)

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  6. What a special post. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  7. Tears in my eyes after reading that -- what a lovely post and how wonderful to hear your story! I've had those moments before, when you know without a doubt, it is the sign you are looking for. Beautiful.

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  8. What a wonderful post and I know it was a message from you G in Heaven. Faith is very personal and private for me too but I do love it when someone shares one of these tales of the heart.
    Blessings,
    Pamela

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  9. I am sorry about your grandfather's earthly death but rejoice with you that he is now in heaven with his Savior!

    Faith is a deeply personal thing but should not necessarily be a private thing - if that makes sense. I struggle with that EVERY day!

    Thanks for sharing how God has worked in your life to assure and confirm his presence.

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  10. Pam, such a wonderful story. It is so nice when we get those little special small miracles that give us just what we need.

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  11. That is a wonderful story, Thank you for sharing it with us. It is amazing the things that we see if we look for miracles. It is hard to lose ones we love, but knowing they are in a great place makes things easier. I am glad he had a long and good life.

    ((hugs))
    Jen

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  12. thank you for sharing. No doubt... there is a God and He promises us there is a heaven. how encouraging to know that your grandpa is there! Hold on to the $5.00 bill to remind you of all the wonderful memories you had with that very special man.

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  13. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I love what Amber said "It's personal but doesn't have to be private". God's timing is perfect. He gives us what we need just when we need it.

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  14. Absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing because sometimes we all need to hear other peoples good news to keep the faith.

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  15. My heart goes out to you. 3 weeks ago tomorrow, I lost my only sibling, my brother at the age of 49. God got me through the lack of sleep, eating and crying as well as the thousands who came to pay their respects. It was overwhelming. God is the only way.

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  16. I am sorry for your loss. Losing a family member, even if they are in a better place, is very difficult. I remember doing the same thing after my grandfather's funeral and seeing a bird that wasn't native to our area - Southern California, but from his home state of Arkansas. Your story brought that to the forefront after 9 years, as well as tears. There are no such things as coincidences.

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  17. Pam, I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy losing a loved one. Hopefully knowing your grandpa is in a better place will help. Thank you for sharing. It's always nice to hear stories of affirmation.

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  18. Pam, I'm so sorry about your loss. This story brings tears to my eyes. I'm so glad you got your sign. God is amazing. He always answers our prayers.

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  19. So beautiful! I'm glad you shared that! God bless you!

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  20. What a wonderful, beautiful story. Yes, that's right. It's full of wonder and beauty.

    Isn't it good of God to give us little signs just when we need them? :)

    It makes me so happy to read stories like this one. Thank you very, very much for sharing it.

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  21. How precious. Such a sweet and encourageing post. God will even reveal Himself through a FIVE DOLLAR BILL! Be blessed. Cindy

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  22. Pam-you are in my thoughts. I miss your posts, but know that you are taking care of yourself and your family. We're all behind you.

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  23. Oh Pam you are so right that $5 was a sign from your grand dad. Having just experienced the passing of my Dad and having lots of signs from both my Mum and Dad I know there is something after this. Be strong in knowing that if you need him just ask and he will be there to help you.

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  24. That is beautiful!!! God is so good!!

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  25. What a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing! I don't think there is any other explanation other than that God was listening to your prayers and loves you enough to answer them!

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  26. I'm not quite sure how I stumbled into this blog or this particular post but I wanted to thank you for sharing this sweet story. It just made my heart very happy.

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